What's Primary Food?
Last week in my workshop, Weigh Less, Live More, I talked about the importance of "Primary Food."
Primary food is what nourishes us beyond the plate and is really more important than what we eat.
When we are nourished by primary foods, we don't rely so much on secondary food (the food that we put in our mouths).
Think about when you were a kid or when one of your children were playing with friends in the neighborhood. That happily playing kid isn't running home every ten minutes for a snack. They'll go hours before they come home to eat. They usually aren't even coming home to eat, but because either they or their friends had to return home at a certain time (or it got dark.)
If they're bored at home, they're complaining every few minutes that there's nothing to eat!
Or think about a time when you've been really excited about a project. You aren't so worried about food. You have to remind yourself to eat. Food becomes an afterthought.
Now remember a time when you weren't feeling all that great. Maybe you didn't like your job or a relationship had just ended. That's when comfort food comes in. You turn to whatever food offers you comfort, but in never really works, does it?
The more primary food we give ourselves, the less we depend on secondary food.
Yes, we need secondary food to nourish our bodies. But, if we are being fueled by primary food, then we can consciously pick the foods to eat that do nourish us.
The four main primary foods are relationships, physical activity, spirituality, and career.
Today, I'll focus on relationships, specifically friendships. Relationships with friends, family, and even our co-workers. Next week, I'll write about romantic relationships!
The quality of your relationships tells a lot about the quality of your life and your health. It's important to cultivate relationships that are healthy and support our individual needs, wants and desires. It really is individual.
You could be eating the perfect diet, but if you are feeling isolated and lonely, you aren't going to be to be living your best life.
"A good solution applied with vigor now is better than a perfect solution applied ten minutes later." - George Smith Patton, Jr.
I was wanting more than that. I was wanting my husband to change.
Granted it was really nice for both of my kids to be in one place for awhile.
I can see why they would want to stay at home.
But, having the kids spending a bunch of that time on a computer or ipad did not sit well with me.
Let go of being something you're not!
I love the doshas, because once you get a good idea of your type, you can let go of being something you’re not.
For example, if you are primarily kapha, you probably aren’t going to be thin as a rail. You can, however, learn how to bring yourself into balance.
Not only that, but by learning about the other doshas you can see that the grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side.
Also, like I wrote about in my last post, it helps to understand the doshas of those closest to you.
Usually you have a primary dosha and a secondary dosha.
There are good tests on the internet that can help you figure out your doshas. The recommendation is usually to think of yourself as you were when you were a child when you answer the questions. Life and circumstances can skew you away from your true doshas. Also, an experienced ayurvedic practitioner can tell your doshas by reading your pulse.
Don't put me in a box! Understanding personality types can help you understand yourself and those close to you.
Temperaments, doshas and personality types.
I’ve been talking a lot about relationships in the past few blog posts, probably because I’ve been traveling with my family for the last six and a half weeks. We are living in close quarters most of the time and we all have some fire to our personalities. So we don't always have an easy time of it.
I’ve found that knowing and understanding more about my general tendencies and the tendencies of those around me, helps me to be more patient and get along.
There are many different philosophies around personality types. I’m going to give a brief rundown of the three that I am most familiar with, and then go more into depth on each in the coming weeks. This post is going to be wordier than my others, but I think it’s helpful information.
Last week, I wrote about having to grow up a bit to get along in the relationship with my husband. When I asked my yoga teacher/guru for relationship advice, he asked me point blank if I even wanted to stay married, then followed with “did I want to be right or did I want peace.”
If you would prefer peace, here are a few simple tips for handling conflct. By the way, these work with any relationship. I often use these with my teenage daughter.
Life isn’t always easy with a teenager in the house (or campervan), but I try to take the long view. Forming a good relationship with her that will last into her adult years is more important than what food she eats or how many chores she does.
One of the goals of our long trip was to spend time together as a family. As the kids get older, it really has become difficult to spend quality family time with school, work, sports and other obligations pulling at us.
While we are definitely getting family time, and sometimes we are in the zone, all having a good time. Other times we aren't quite meshing. We might be tired, hungry, or have spent too much time in the car. That's when I really need to use strategies for overcoming conflict, because I can't "quit the trip," as my nine year old son said.
If you've decided you don't want to "quit the trip," give these three strategies a try.
Division of Labor
I bet the subject most couples argue over is division of labor, how household chores are divided up.
My husband and I generally have a good system. For example, I do the shopping and cooking and he does the kitchen clean up. It might not seem completely fair, but I like to cook and I can make a pretty good mess.
We've had to change things up now that we’re traveling for a couple of months in a camper van.
Now it makes sense for me to do the cooking and cleaning, while he packs up the camper van. We’re just in each other’s way, if we try to help each other. It took us a little while to figure it out. I’m sure it will shift as we go.
It wasn't always so smooth...
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